Friday, February 10, 2012

Techie Romance: Falling in Love, Breaking-Up, and Healing Online



With Facebook just celebrated its 8th anniversary, without a doubt, the social network has affected the way a lot of Filipinos extend their love relationships. As Valentine's Day is just around the corner, a popular topic as well is how does social networks affect love relationships. Answered all the questions I got about the topic at The Internet Connection: dating and the web.

If you have additional insights, hope you can share them.



Question1: In what way has the Internet affected or change the way we engage in love relationship?

Answer: If active in social networking, a couple can get to know each other better online and learn about the folks they interact with often.

It allows creative communication as well as a couple can play games / watch videos together, collaborate, and share their love celebration online.

Before meeting a love one's family, some show an online family album, introduce who they are, before the actual meet up happens. It is like - "This is me." "This is my family." "This is what I do." At the back of your head, thinking, "take it or leave it."

Social networks also play an important role for those with families based abroad. It is like being in touch without necessarily intruding.

Social networking force telecoms as well to be creative with their value added services. More folks send greetings via Facebook than SMS now.



Question2: Is personal dating still "in" or "virtual dating" is the trend?
Answer: I think nothing will replace personal dating. Being able to touch a person and kiss won't be substituted by anything virtual.

But for couples in a long distance relationship, setting aside time to connect online and have collaborative activities can take the place of face-to-face dating.

Question3: Is there really such a thing as "online dating"?
Answer: Yes, interpretation can vary. I think it's the couple's action rather than platform.

Question4: If relationships can be formed online, how about break-up? Do folks prefer face-to-face or online?
Answer: On breaking-up, it depends on state of relationship. If parties are hurting, I think some prefer not to meet face-to-face to end it.

Question5: What are the positive results of forming a love relationship through the Internet?
Answer: You can get to know the person beforehand. Conduct your own due diligence.

Question6: What can be negative results of forming love relationship thru the Internet?
Answer: You don't really know whether that person's online "persona" is true offline.

Question7: Is it advisable to use the Internet as a platform to woo (make "ligaw") someone?
Answer: It depends, as long as you won't appear like a stalker. Engage in reasonable interaction when in wooing (ligaw) stage. Don't "like" "RT" "comment" "+1" "reblog" "game invite" every post or every hour. More importantly, make an effort (without trying too hard) to catch up face-to-face to show that you are "for real".

Question8: Is it advisable to use the Internet as a platform to break-up with someone?
Answer: My reply here can be subjective. Yes, if both don't like drama and just want to let go without hurting each other further.

Although in some situations, one or both parties just stop communicating online and offline. Then it becomes awkward as you wait. But I think you'll know and feel when it is time to let go. Follow your gut feel.

But I truly admire those who make an effort to end it properly, online or offline. No matter how painful it may get. At least there is closure.

Breaking up is one thing but letting go of someone you love is another. Family and friends can be helpful at this time especially if the lovebirds are still in their teens.

Question9: Is there an age range for Internet romance?
Answer: Younger folks may be exposed more - being single - and especially if they are connected online.

Older ones too. Much quiet conversation for the matured ones online.

Question10: What would you advise those who are looking for potential love relationships online?
Answer: Be nice. Put your best foot forward.

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